SINAI — The women of Israel erupted into celebration this week after Moses struck a rock with his staff, causing a torrent of pumpkin spice latte to gush forth. Witnesses reported that thousands of ...

Welcome to the Bee's Weekly Roundup! We're here to catch you up on the biggest stories of the past week -- and to save our dear readers from the dread ...

SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom signed a bill into law this week requiring all cars to be horses by the year 2030. The bill will force car manufacturers to immediately begin working on ...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democratic lawmakers once again called on the Department of Justice to reign in ICE officers, fearful that mass deportations will make illegals afraid to vote. "I am afraid that if ...

DETROIT, MI — Following the Senate primary victory won last night by Abdul El-Sayed, an official announcement was issued that the Middle East had expanded to include the state of Michigan. El-Sayed's ...

U.S. — After failing to arrive at a definition of "woman", the WNBA has officially changed the name of the league to ?NBA. League officials felt the change better represented the lack of clarity over ...

AUSTIN, TX — Senate candidate James Talarico announced on Monday morning that he would be following in the inspiring footsteps of Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and electing to have his eggs ...

PITTSBURGH, PA — With their second-round pick in the 2026 NFL Draft, the New England Patriots have officially selected marriage counselor Amy Connors out of the University of North Texas Clinical ...

Senator Mitch McConnell isn't doing too many interviews these days, but The Babylon Bee's Travis got the opportunity to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend himself.

SACRAMENTO, CA — A piece of the Golden State's heritage was lost today, as the iconic grizzly bear that had adorned the California state flag announced that he had officially moved to Texas. Monarch, ...

U.S. — As the entire nation watched in horror at the devastation being unleashed on California by multiple wildfires, the American people were treated to a preview of what a Gavin Newsom presidency ...

U.S. — The Associated Press has warned that despite their deadly nature, medieval trebuchets are mostly exempt from firearm regulations in the United States. The AP cautioned its audience that a ...