With several defections in the last few weeks, the Liberals are now just one Mennonite MP away from a majority government and, of course, they’re looking for MPs who might be receptive to crossing the ...
The new FIFA “Peace Prize” was apparently so meaningful to its recipient that it’s already been discarded and discovered amongst all the useless chotskies at the local thrift store. “I couldn’t ...
Mrs. Helena Friesen had a leftover plate of raisin buns from the funeral this afternoon, which required her to hightail it to her Honda CRV lest she freeze her buns off. “Jauma, it’s cold out there,” ...
Mrs. Erin Janzen of Mountain Lake has finally begun to take down last year’s Christmas cards just as soon as the first batch of new ones have arrived. “It’s a painful decision, but it had to be done,” ...
Thousands of Mennonites across Ontario have joined Premier Doug Ford in dumping all the Crown Royal they weren’t intending on drinking anyway. “I use it for cooking or medicinal purposes only,” said ...
Despite a slight hiccup in the plan last night, the Winnipeg Jets are hoping to get back on track and lose every game from now until whenever Connor Hellebuyck comes back. “I’m really disappointed in ...
McGill University has freed up more than $6 billion in budget space after cutting the beloved but expensive crokinole team. “Players kept flicking the pieces all over the place and losing them,” said ...
After many years of uncertainty and protest, the Epsteinbach files will finally be released this spring. “Oba, that Elder Thiessen is delaying things,” said Epsteinbach enthusiast Laura Koop. “I’m ...
It’s the end of November, so you know what that means – parka season. Well not so for area man Collin Rogalsky. “I’m waiting for it to snow,” said Rogalsky. “I can’t feel the cold at all until it ...
Area man David Giesbrecht, 42, has just quit his job at the local window factory so he can dedicate himself to carting his kids around to various sports. “Looks like I’m a full time chauffeur now,” ...
It was total mayhem at Second Altona Mennonite Church this week after Pastor Susan called for Hymn 67. “I should have waited until the kids were dismissed for Children’s Church,” said Susan. “As soon ...
Area farmer Keith Thiessen, 61, has just purchased more than a thousand acres of land near Morden, Manitoba, which he intends to seed with aura this spring. “Everyone else is doing corn or canola, so ...
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